5 tips for how to homeschool in a large family

For many families, deciding to homeschool is a natural choice. For others it feels like the only option. Either way, in Australia, the number of homeschoolers is growing each year.

In a large family, there are many benefits of learning together but it’s not always easy!

So, I’ve complied 5 tips for how to homeschool in a large family. 

Reasons for homeschooling

Even before becoming a mum, the thought of homeschooling had always been at the back of my mind. As a child, my own parents toyed with the idea of homeschooling us when we moved from the UK to Australia. I remember visiting friends in Canada and seeing how they seemed to transition effortlessly between general family life and homeschooling… 

What also appealed to me was the sense of a ‘one piece’ life. Sam and I wanted to spend more time with our children and be part of their education. We wanted to be able to tailor curriculum to their individual needs and recognise and build on their personal strengths. 

One aspect we both agreed on was that we wanted to homeschool because of the benefits of homeschooling, not out of fear of the public school system. 

On a more practical note, the thought of having high school aged children at one campus and waking babies for the rush of school pick up at another location just did not sound fun! 

Classroom teaching to homeschool mum

After finishing an Arts degree, I trained to be a teacher and worked for 4 years in a couple of lower Primary classes. When I was pregnant with our first child, I borrowed all my mum’s books on home education. 

We started to talk more seriously about the possibility of homeschooling. We didn’t know many homeschool families or large families, but we felt excited about giving it a go.

My teaching background also meant that I knew first hand the pressures of classroom teaching and the strain many teachers feel. 

During maternity leave (and the arrival of another little baby) I had also had time to think about the realities of school life. The time wasted, the stretch for teachers to know, understand and cater for different learning styles and personalities in a classroom.

As Primary school approached, Sam and I decided that there was probably not much risk in homeschooling for the first year. Plus I really wasn’t keen on the idea of rushing back to teaching to spend time with other people’s children when I could be with my own! We just didn’t want to compromise on our time spent as a family.

Little did we know that those early years would give way to well over a decade (and counting!) of amazing memories, changing routines and systems, a growing family and a way of life that none of us regret.

No year is the same as the last. There has always been an event of significance: a new baby, a period of travel or a new job that has impacted and shaped our learning and life. 

Being based at home has helped us adjust and adapt to each season. However, the benefits of homeschooling have sometimes been overshadowed by the challenges of large family living. As our family grew, our homeschool day needed to reflect the new season and the different needs of each child. What had worked last year wasn’t going to necessarily work this year! 

Children in different year levels and stages

One significant challenge has arisen in the last few years. Being parents to teens and babies and everything in between has brought with it what we refer to as ‘the stretch’. 

The mental and emotional skills required to raise older children are very different from those required to train and discipline toddlers and care for preschoolers.

In short, we parents are growing alongside our own children!

From a homeschooling perspective, this adds a whole new dimension. You need to shift gears to cater for teaching across different ages in addition to the already long list of daily tasks and routines. This constant ‘gear changing’ is tiring. 

I’m not able to teach the same thing to a 3- and 5- year old, let alone to two teenagers! Add a range of personalities, strengths and weaknesses into the mix and it can be a recipe for burn out.

So, here are 5 tips for homeschooling in a large family that we’ve learnt from our years of homeschooling. I hope they help you combat any doubt or hard time you may be going through.

1. Enjoy the different ages

One delightful blessing of having older and younger children is that the relational dynamics with each child are different. Not only are they all unique in personality and interests, but the variety of stages is so lovely. 

I can go from having a serious (or funny!) conversation with a teenager to getting out the playdough or teaching letters to my 5-year old. It gives me a mental break and brings perspective. It also gives me time to process the deep conversation and helps to sift through or reflect on my thoughts and emotions.

Similarly, when life feels full of nappy changes and rocky nap schedules, sitting down to read aloud to my middle children once the baby is in bed brings welcome relief and joy. I truly love being able to ‘pinball’ through the day chatting and relating to my 5-year old, my 11-year old or 14-year old and then sitting and watching the baby play in welcome silence.

Learning to enjoy the different ages has been one of the most important things I’ve done.

2. Rest time

Most of our schoolwork happens in the mornings. This is partly by necessity – none of us function as well after lunch time when we’re ready to play, relax or get ready for the end of the day activities.

Since our children were babies, we’ve aimed to have Rest time or Quiet time each afternoon, even if it’s just for half an hour. Everyone, including me, moves to a space without others around. 

It’s not a time to play with anyone else and the golden rule is that no one should need to ‘visit’ or chat with anyone else. It gives us all the much needed downtime from relating and ‘peopling’ and means we’re all fresher and kinder to one another. It’s also occasionally the time when I can sneak in a snooze so I’ll always try to time it with the baby’s nap times!

Rest time allows space for personal hobbies too. Most children read or listen to an audio book, but some will use the time to draw or play a one-person game. 

If I’m finding the children are yo-yoing and not able to stay settled (which happens some days, especially in a small house!) I’ll offer the incentive of a treat if no one interrupts anyone else… it’s amazing how quickly that helps everyone disappear for the allotted time!

When our family life feels overwhelming or too busy, it’s often Rest time that is the first casualty in the schedule. This is sometimes by necessity; if we’re pushed for time it may not feel like there’s space to wind down in the middle of the day. The truth is, though, that when we don’t carve out half an hour to reset and replenish ourselves, relationships suffer and everyone struggles more. 

Even our most extroverted family members appreciate the chance to wind down. 

3. Teaching subjects together where possible

Now that my oldest daughter is taking some classes online to gain her High School Certificate, our ‘together time’ has been less consistent. 

We always start our daily schedule with morning chores and then a Devotion and prayer. She will often move onto her independent work and the rest of us will continue with our read-aloud time and loop subjects. 

We’ve leant more into Ambleside Online recently (it’s such a great resource, and is completely free!) and so a lot of time is allocated for reading. Many of our older children are quite independent and are able to get going with regular check ins throughout the morning. 

Starting the day with regular Morning Time for our rotational subjects like Science, History, and French gives us much more time to learn from one another and to discuss current events as well as to hear opinions and perspectives on life. 

I deliberately choose curriculum that can accomodate varied ages and abilities, either through questions pitched at older and younger children, or by incorporating extension activities. It’s a great way to enrich their learning and apply their understanding differently. Using curriculum that suits your teaching style helps too – it enables you to operate out of a place of strength and joy. 

There are a few subject areas that we don’t study as a cohort: Maths, Language Arts, Music lessons, Typing and Tech skills. The rest: Science, Foreign Language (French for us), Social Studies, History, Art/Craft, read alouds, Literature, Sport/Health, and Nature Study we cover as a group. None of these subjects happen at specific times each week, but I do keep a mental (and sometimes a written) record of where we’re up to. 

This helps us to learn from each other and keeps us functioning well as a family. I also feel less pulled and stretched! Sometimes we learn over a snack, outside, or while folding washing, but very often our learning happens in the sitting room or school room at the start of the day before separating to pursue our own tasks.

4. Think of children as individuals, not a group

Even during smooth seasons of family life, it can still feel hard and tiring to parent and homeschool at multiple levels. It has been one of the most challenging parts of our journey so far.

A great piece of advice I remember reading was to always remember that each of our children is an individual. Now that may sound odd to have to ‘remember’, but it’s easy, especially with more than a handful of kiddies at home, to see them as ‘the kids’. To lump them into a group rather than view them as a separate people. 

As a homeschool mum, I often feel like the hub at the centre of a wheel. When I’m trying to get some work done and I’m interrupted for the fifth or sixth time, the child who spoke to me most recently can be like the straw that broke the camel’s back. 

An innocent request can trigger a rash or impatient response from me. After, all, I know that this is not the first interruption! But it is pretty likely to be the first time that THAT child has asked a question or come to check in during a short time frame. 

Making sure I’m responding personally and individually to each child has been really helpful.

Another way that it’s important to consider individuality and uniqueness is at the beginning of each school year. It’s a chance for a fresh start and I take the opportunity to consider the special needs of each child for the season ahead. 

It could be in preparing their school subjects or their social activities. It could be in working through a particular behavioural or attitudinal challenge or just setting aside one-on-one time. 

By incorporating the personal growth of each child into my overall planning I’m encouraged to find ways to meet their specific needs. It’s a simple way to give them enough time and to help them reach their potential.

5. Playing the long game

Finally, amidst the hustle and bustle of every day, I think my most helpful mindset is to keep my eyes fixed above and forward. 

Spending time with God (albeit while I’m doing other things) and reminding myself that all that I’m doing will bear fruit in its time helps keep me focussed and also encouraged. 

So my final tip for large family homeschooling is about playing the long game.

We’re just a few months away from our first high school graduation and so this feels more relevant than ever! It’s so true that the some days can feel lonely and discouraging. I’ve definitely had seasons of feeling sad or unseen, but ultimately, I know that I’m doing a good work, and I choose to trust that these years are providing our children with a solid foundation for the rest of their lives.

As we commit to growing alongside our children and being shaped in our parenting, we’re positioning ourselves to reap a wonderful harvest in the years to come. 

I can’t wait to cheer them on as I watch the gifts and skills I’ve seen be cultivated through their childhood flourish and make a difference in the world. 

What a privilege this homeschooling life is!