Making a small house work for a large family

Our move to the country provided us with so much space. Freedom to move and explore and acres of land for animals and food production. That space was NOT in the boundaries of four walls. 

Our 50 acres came with a very little house. 

In fact, we downsized by over half, leaving a spacious 5-bedroom and 3 living area (plus studio) home for a 140 square metre/1500 square foot house. 

This was a topic of hot debate in deciding to buy the property and we’ve had to navigate how to make a small space work for our large family.

Space where it matters

Many of the properties we looked at in our house-hunting had very small bedrooms and one living area. The floor plans felt cramped and difficult to use. 

That didn’t stop us from putting in offers out of desperation; but I am so glad we didn’t end up with any of them.

The house we did buy has space where it matters for us: large bedrooms, 2 living areas and a big kitchen. 

The three bedrooms in our cottage are big enough to avoid bunk beds! Yay! (If you’ve ever changed sheets on a top bunk you’ll understand!) and they all have floor space too. This has provided our children with room for their own personal belongings. 

Having two separate living spaces (one with double French glass doors) has been a wonderful thing as well. It is just so handy to have enough ‘places’ for children and adults to retreat to or to divide into! 

Finally, I am so grateful for our large eat-in kitchen. So much of our day is spent preparing food, cleaning up from meals and cooking from scratch. The decision to downsize our large kitchen table to a smaller one gave us space to move around the table more easily, too. 

Why we believed we would manage in a smaller home

Before we found our farm, we had regular family holidays at Ryelands Farmstay. We all stayed in a three bedroom cottage and it remains the source of many of our favourite family memories. That experience of close quarter living stood us in good stead. It showed us that it was possible for our entire family to live in a much smaller space. And, although it was only for a few nights at a time, it also taught us the benefit of living with less. 

Another important factor was that we knew that our move to the country was a move to more land. I know that for plenty of families, small houses don’t come with more land. There are plenty of blocks with a tiny house on a suburban block. 

For us, though, the priority was always the land, not the living space.

The outdoor space to run, play, ride bikes, and yell was really important, especially with lots of kids! The size of the house was of far less consequence when we knew we all had somewhere to go out of the house! 

Despite these positives, however, we have all had to make adjustments to make a small house work for a big family. Especially with the realities of homeschooling and working from home… plus a newborn baby. 

So, here are a few great ideas for big families to make the most of your smaller spaces.

It’s not the space, it’s the way you use it

Even though we may not like to admit it, in some houses there is just too much space. 

Downsizing is hard because we generally fill the space we have! 

We quickly get used to the cupboards and shelves and utilise almost every square inch we can. So when half that space disappears literally overnight, it’s a problem!

There is something lovely about a cosy home and if you can combine that with good built-in storage and a little creativity, you can go a long way to preventing many of the hurdles of a small house; it’s not the space, it’s the way you use it! 

When we moved from our old house, we had to store many of our possessions in the patio or in sheds. This turned out to be a disaster in a damp climate where literally everything has the potential to get mouldy!  

We ended up losing a huge amount of our furniture: wardrobes, chairs, couches, suitcases, toys, rugs and bookcases. Thankfully, we’ve had insurance money to cover replacement costs, but it’s still been a tough experience to go through!

So what are some top tips to use the space we have?

1. All of our children use under their beds for personal items and then share bookcases and wardrobes. It isn’t always easy, but it’s worked so far. 
2. Not everyone has their own room… in fact none of us do! One of our children sleeps in our room, and our baby is in the ensuite… Living here has definitely stretched us and our perceived need for personal space! 
3. We are mindful about what we ‘bring into’ the house. We just don’t have the extra space to accomodate unnecessary items.
4. We have regular decluttering sessions to get rid of things we actually don’t need.
5. We all try to put things away promptly to help minimise visual mess. We still have ‘crash zones’ (a dumping ground where belongings get left) but we don’t let them build up for long.
6. A short time away from one another each day really helps to reset our family dynamic and avoid a cycle of tension.

The reality is that, on occasions, even these strategies haven’t helped and I’ve threatened to dump half our house into a skip! 

Minimalism sounds like a good idea

For many people, minimalism is the key to small house living. 

Personally, this has probably been my biggest challenge because I know I’m a bit of a hoarder. I’m also sentimental about specific things and I attach meaning and memories to inanimate objects. 

Plus there’s the reality of our life! We homeschool so we have books (and more books), curriculum, toys, games and puzzles galore! Plus stationery, art supplies, past school work, future textbooks, science kits and activities that suit babies through to older teenagers. 

Hobbies also generate plenty of stuff… musical instruments, sporting equipment, about a dozen bikes, toddler vehicles, swags and the odd trebuchet or bow and arrows set.

Working from home means that there are office materials to store and access, too. 

So minimalism isn’t really an option around here! Well, not yet anyway! 

Hint: it’s not really about the physical space

I think what I’ve really learnt in moving to a much smaller house is that it’s actually less about the physical space and our possessions and more about our attitudes towards one another that matters.

We could live in a mansion and yet feel miserable and frustrated. No amount of space can replace a rotten heart attitude.

Having young children and older kids can make it tough to make a small home work because there are lots of individual needs. 

Clear communication and a healthy dose of compassion towards one another and our differing needs and styles of living really helps.

So when we’re tempted to wish for a larger home, more storage space, or an extra bedroom:

• We intentionally choose to be grateful for all we have. 
• We give one another grace when things are hard. 
• We just add fresh air, water, or a 2 hour reset when things really get tough!

Final thoughts

When we moved to the farm, I realised that I had really only ever associated ‘downsizing’ with retiring! It was NOT what I had planned to do with a family of 9!

In my mind, when Sam and I had watched older children leave home and settle into their own families, we would choose a little cottage with enough space for just the two of us (and maybe a big shed for hosting our grandchildren!) and create our own space for the next season of life.

It turns out that moving our large family to a small house has given us the opportunity to focus more on what we value as a family. It’s blessed us in ways we didn’t expect and it’s challenged us not to compare our lives with others who seem to ‘have more’. 

I’m trusting that when our house feels emptier (and probably larger too!) we’ll look back on these years with genuine fondness. 

No, it definitely isn’t always easy, but we are so thankful for where we live and we’re encouraging our children to have that same perspective.